getting fatter

PhilNITS once again

2009-10-11T18:27:00.003+08:00

exactly one week before the exam. and yet im still not studying. mainly because i do not know what to study. obviously unsure if im even gonna pass.

no idea. at all.

just recently transferred from dev b to c. really. really awkward.

frustration

2009-08-09T19:04:00.003+08:00

ever since i knew about colleges, i've always wanted to study at lasalle. i'm not exactly sure why. but i think it's because i'm more qualified there compared to up and ateneo. unfortunately, i didn't get the chance to pass the entrance exam. maybe, just maybe, if i answered all or even 80% of the questions, i might have that chance. now. it's getting frustrating everytime my lasallian friends/officemates mention their school. and all of them have that look. the look of proud alumni. the look that spells you-came-from-a-trash-school. the "i pity you" look. i don't understand why it has to be this way. sometimes it gets to the point where hanging out with them is such a torment. it's degrading everytime.

what to do now

2009-03-14T11:30:00.002+08:00

OJT just started last wednesday and i couldn't really think of a good way to escape this dump. my groupmates are kind of depending on me to do my part. although they just assigned me to do testing. it's a bit insulting, honestly. knowing my capability. although i'm not saying i'm good or anything. but testing?! why did i apply here in the first place if i'm just gonna do testing? anyway, i thought it'll be ok since i'd be on leave for 2-3 days.

PHILNITS is coming close. 5 weeks to go. 10 more books to read. 15 past exams to review. 16 past JITSE exams to study.

my escape

2009-02-27T22:45:00.002+08:00

i'm thinking of leaving AWS. i can't stand the thought of being a probi for two years. coz it's like almost impossible for me to pass the PhilNits exam (a requirement to be qualified for regularization). we've been given 3 mock exams which none of those i passed. totemo pityful, i know. i wonder when i'll be kicked out. anyway, i applied at NEC, also a Japanese IT company, just in case, but also with other ulterior motive. LOL. i'll go in detail with this once successful. so. fortunately, i was shortlisted for an interview next two weeks. well, for now, i just hope everything goes well.

last day of the year in AWS

2008-12-20T11:46:00.002+08:00

yesterday was our Christmas party. they ordered ambers (again) and the usual KFC. we had shagedy-shapopo games and the revealing of babies (kris kringle). we went bowling + billiards at robinson's place afterwards and ate dinner at ajisen ramen which is quite different from hk, sadly. finally, karaoke at timezone php12 per song. pretty affordable compared to redbox which costs hundreds per head.

when people say you're magaling for countless times. what does it really tell you? coz real magaling people get compliments only once they are known to be magaling. and that's it. they don't get complimented over and over again. so what if you get complimented whenever you get an average score or just simply accomplishing something. you'd feel insulted diba?? coz they expect you most likely cannot do it. it means you're either bobo or tanga. or both.

3 weeks at AWS

2008-12-05T23:49:00.003+08:00

this sucks. they recently announced there will be an assessment 2 weeks from now. the training will be stopped once the standards (of a trainee) aren't met. im beginning to think im not fit for this training after all. first, i absolutely hate studying. although i like the idea of studying, doing it makes it rather unbearable. second, i earn peso allowance. lastly, im not, at all, happy. although i think this is a good training ground, to say the least.

after months of planning, pg machos finally got together. nothing has changed. they're still the same, just this time, they were talking about HP.

left out. (1) at AWS, my group of friends are from la salle. (2) in college, my friends were all DLs. (3) now, they're in HP.

one more week before aws

2008-11-01T14:28:00.005+08:00

after a long wait since ive applied last july, i finally got accepted. although i was having second thoughts about whether to accept the offer or not. i asked almost everyone in my YM contact list if they were to choose between AWS or PAL, what would it be given the pros and cons. it was a really big help but its sorta 50-50. i even got to talk to my cousin's cousin who had worked there before. he said he would choose PAL over AWS. confused and baffled, i finally chose AWS. sadly, i regret not choosing PAL. but on the bright side, ill be experiencing pressure and stress as i believe i haven't experienced it before.

ok. so after i signed the contract, they already provided me with study materials and assignments to submit on the first day of training. no wonder they said this will be an intensive training that is ironically, more of self-study.

by the way, zsa will be in the training with me!

mimi's despedida

2008-09-13T09:12:00.009+08:00

have i become boring? its been a while since ive socialized. i realized i dont joke a lot and no longer being silly compared to when i was in high school. im not comfortable being with neos because i feel intimidated. things have changed so much since we started college. first is the looks. although i wouldnt say thats a problem. second is the habit or way of doing or saying things caused by peers influences. lastly, were not open to many things. such as not saying what mistake or any bad impression we made. so much has been kept to ourselves that made it more difficult to share. i also noticed last night, we are grouped separately. unlike before, we were "shuffled", we were as close as being best friends. anyway, despite this, im still glad ive been part of neos.

so last night, we went to trinoma. whole neos, for the record. its been a year since we were last completed. karen brought a wine and mushed peaches, which we drank after eating at sizzling pepper steak. they were trying to open the cork with a key. lol good thing there was no "corkage" fee. anyway, boobs face was all red after drinking 1/4 of a glass. then we went on strolling into the mall. we finally landed at gerry's grill hoping to get some more drinks. but we eventually left for zsas house to stay for the night. while on the way, i asked them to drop me off here at home because i have a dentist appointment today at 9am. well its past 9 already, and im still here haha

im gonna miss you pimpy!

father's day

2008-06-16T13:43:00.004+08:00

here we go again (with the greeting). it was so hard to greet daddy happy father's day, too hard i got scolded by mommy in the car. she even pinched me, it hurt. well, she reminded me a few times and i still didn't greet dad. so that's what i get for being me. haha

i wish NSOV would pick me as their software engineer trainee. only 1 vacancy left and there are over 40 applicants so i wouldn't exactly expect much. although im still hoping. i love japan. i love the food. very authentic. mmm!

graduation

2008-04-07T14:19:00.003+08:00

had a black casual sleeveless dress on, put on a light make-up, tied my hair to a bun, slipped on a pair of black high-heeled pointed pumps. and i was good to go.

i shouldn't have let Neos come to my grad. i couldn't leave them. as a result, i took only few shots with my ust friends.. so sad.. i wish i could go back. just for the sake of memories. lol

towards the end of the last semester, i met some cool new friends from other sections. only, i didn't get to know them really well because it was almost time to separate. it's really sad. cuz i sorta don't like IM at all. although some are okay like the g-group (i wonder what they are really called). but there isn't any memory to treasure or even remember. except with rio and ang. they are the only ones who i get along with very well in chixies. and of course, ice! real cool dude. i mean girl hahaha i hope i could still get in touch with them and still be close as friends. i never thought i'd miss UST.

in the month of march

2008-04-03T13:31:00.007+08:00

it's finally over. i'm officially bum.

i went on looking for jobs even the ones i most likely won't get into. just for practice.

guama had been in the ICU for 1 1/2 months i think. the doctor (my aunt) said she has a maximum of 24 hrs to live. that was at 9am and 24 hrs would be on the next day. it turned out barely 3 hrs she finally left us. the hour before she died, mommy said to talk to guama for the last time. it could be like passing on our problems physically and emotionally to her. its a filipino practice they said. but i said something else. i told them i want to be alone with my guama then i laughed just to let them feel its nothing so serious. so i put my lips near her left ear so that i could be certain she heard me although she was unconscious. i told her that God loves her very much. if she wants to rest now, get all she sickness away, just call on to Him and say, "Jesus, save me! Jesus, save me! Jesus, save me!" i have to admit, i was a bit hesitant before saying it. because i knew right then, if i tell her the good news. i would go into tears, which i didn't want my relatives to see. i'm glad in what i did. but half of me isn't sure if she's with Him already. i realize this because the monk said guama was very devoted to buddhism. guama called them all the time to ask for advice and all that. although my cousins said guama was actually praying to the santos (catholic). i'm not sure exactly. anyway, it is still hard to believe she's gone even after the burial. she's the perfect example of an ideal grandma. she's so soft hearted. she cared for every single one of us. male or female. i have never ever ever heard her complain on anything. or even heard it from anyone that she complained. she didn't even want to admit that she's so tired already (in the ICU) because she didn't want anyone of us to worry even though it is so obvious that she's suffering so bad. i could never find another grandma like her. i love her so much.

she passed away on march 18, 2008 11:50am. february 11, 2008 on lunar calendar which is the same date my guakong died but on a non-lunar calendar. after ten years (february 11, 1998). march 19 is my cousin's birthday who is the first grandchild. i had to say guama picked a good date.

study at hk

2007-12-24T18:33:00.000+08:00

its time to update my journal. although no one's reading it. coz no one knows about this. anyway. Christmas again huh. ok, i have nothing to say. except my plans after i graduate (hopefully on time).

im thinking of studying in hk. taking bachelor's degree again. i so dont wish to be an alumni in ust. i hate it there. i hate the place, the people, the subjects im taking up. i tried to escape once, but mommy didnt allow me to. so its been a torture chamber for the last 3 and a half years. anyway, its a good opportunity for me to study in hk coz im a local student there. and i love the campus, although i havent been there. just in my imagination. haha for now, i need to take toefl to meet some of the requirements, but i heard the results come after 3-6 months. well, i just hope not. and the earliest schedule of exam is on the 3rd week of january.

2 cellphones

2007-08-24T20:26:00.000+08:00

i just got spanked by mommy. again. who gets spanked at age 20? i wonder how many of you does. anyway, she said im irresponsible, lazy, and selfish. irresponsible, yes. lazy, yes. selfish, i have no idea. forgetful? totally. i guess forgetting stuff can make you selfish. like earlier today, i was suppose to return 2 cellphones (that arent mine) in an office and the person i should see wasnt there. so i just left because i cant just leave it there. so i told mom about it. she got mad. she told me im selfish just because it wasnt my phone i wouldnt do anything about it. and she said i should have request for a received slip. i dunno. i totally forgot about the receive thing. its my first time to do such. so she cant really blame me. well, thats what i think.

cant wait

2007-08-05T22:06:00.001+08:00

may plan... im not sure itll work. given the situation now. i really dont think so. but. im still aiming for it. i just wish i coulld get through with it though.

* complete info will be posted once accomplished.

cool ba. haha anyway, i need to lose some weight. my hips are getting wider, my tummys getting bigger. although. the title of my blog says, getting fatter. not my hips and tummy though. i was referring to my arms, legs, fingers and toes. not on the abdomen part. i should have been a little specific regarding the title.

favorite child

2007-07-08T00:27:00.000+08:00

all abandoned if her favorite child isnt arround.

thats about it. i wont give so much details knowing that someone unpriveledged tries to read it.

chasing time

2007-05-26T22:12:00.000+08:00

92 more hrs then im done. ill probably still be on training after school starts. but i guess that would be fine. sir je would help me out on our thesis anyway. i hope.

ive settled things with mikka already. although im still not happy with it, what i did may have saved the whole barkada. i dunno, i guess i apologized for rio, jean and ang. to be honest, im still not happy with what they did, not ok for that matter. maybe i come to realize that its time to get things back to how they were. im just gonna do it for a year anyway. and its not that im gonna be plastic or something like that. i just dont want things to be awkward with pgs. i have to admit that when time comes, i would totally forgive them. i hope. but i dont think ill ever forget what they did to me. ever.

smits!

2007-05-11T19:34:00.000+08:00

its been 4 weeks since i started training at san miguel. its been fun. you do work yet you learn a lot plus allowance. php100 which i really wont complain about. sir je is my present boss. hes really not that bad. i learned a lot from him which i need for my thesis this coming school year. especially when my so called friends left me behind. ill talk about that later after i cool down. or else ill speak of things which i will later regret.

手牽手

2007-03-08T11:37:00.000+08:00

Shou qian Shou
"Hand in Hand"
手牽手

詞：王力宏　陶吉吉　陳鎮川曲：王力宏　陶吉吉

這世界　乍看下有點灰（蔡琴）
你微笑的臉　有些疲憊（王力宏）
抬起頭　天空就要亮起來（許茹芸）
不要放棄你的希望和期待（孫燕姿）
沙漠中的一滴淚（周華健、林慧萍）
化成綠洲的湖水真心若能被看見　夢會實現（伍思凱）
手牽手　我的朋友（瘐澄慶）
愛永遠　在你左右（瘐澄慶、李心潔）
不要再恐懼　決不要放棄（張信哲、順子）
這一切將會渡過因為你和我　才有明天的彩虹（陶晶瑩、吳宗憲）
手牽手　我的朋友（ENERGY）
愛永遠　在你所右（BAD）
這一刻　不要躲在害怕後面（張宇）
這個世界需要多一點信念（蕭亞萱）
那塵埃　不會真的將你打敗（蔡依林）
你將會意外　生命的光采（江蕙）
風雨過去那一天　悲傷就要停下來（蘇芮、游鴻明）
感覺你身邊的愛　它存在（動力火車）
手牽手　我的朋友（張清芳、范逸臣）
愛永遠　在你左右不要再恐懼　絕不要放棄（周杰倫、張惠妹）
這一切將會渡過因為你和我　才有明天的彩虹（張惠妹）
我的手　握著溫暖的火種（王力宏）
散發一點光和熱就看到笑容（陶吉吉）
手牽手　我的朋友（徐若萱）
愛永遠　在你左右（信樂團）
不要再恐懼　決不要放棄（TENSION）
這一切將會渡過（老爹）
因為你和我　才有明天的彩虹（瘐澄慶、彭佳慧）
手牽手　我的朋友（合唱）
愛永遠　在你左右
不要再恐懼　決不要放棄　
這一切將會渡過因為你和我　
才有明天的彩虹
手牽手　我的朋友（李玟、MACHI）
愛永遠　在你左右（李玟、SHE）
手牽手　一起渡過（可米小子）
愛永遠　在你左右（周渝民、朱孝天）
手牽手　我的朋友　愛永遠在你左右（合唱）
不要再恐懼　決不要放棄　
這一切將會渡過牽著我的手　
看見明天的彩虹
手牽手　我的朋友　
愛永遠在你左右（合唱）
手牽手一起渡過　
愛永遠在你左右
手牽手　我的朋友（陶吉吉、王力宏）

craps in xp sp2

2007-03-08T11:27:00.000+08:00

i was downloading a sql server from the internet that eats up a space of 808MB.. i tried looking up from microsoft.com.. and it wasnt working.. i dont have the iis that sql server needs.. anyway, wala talaga sa xp sp2.. bulok.. so i tried looking up from other internet sites.. wala rin.. may error.. then i tried the bittorrents.. 822mb.. im gonna die here.. torture talaga kung may internet ka e.. utos lahat sayo.. so right now, my computer's getting choked up by turning off by itself.. anyway im still waiting for the download and im just gonna leave it here.. im sure by the time i get back, my computers dead..

security bank exam

2007-02-12T21:28:00.000+08:00

just earlier today, i had an exam.. and i thought it would be just like accenture's.. at 7:10am, i left the house for an 8:30 exam.. traffic's really bad!! i told the driver to wait for me for 2 hrs tops.. we had our exam, an IQ test.. fairly easy but fairly long (at least for me).. i was ready to leave by then but this proctor was holding this bunch of papers.. so i have to take another one.. an essay question and complete-the-sentence test.. 11am.. yet another set of exam!! sales strategy.. 11:45 am.. the proctor came to collect all the papers.. whew! im done! but!! "people whose names are called passed the elimination round and may have their lunch until 1:30pm and come back in this same venue." surprisingly, im called.. whew! although.. iking's gonna have to wait for me for another 2 hrs.. 12nn.. loner.. i ate at goldilocks alone.. grabe.. buti nalang may seat.. went back at 12:30pm.. at 1:30pm, another set of questionaires.. waa!! exactly like accenture's!! every question i answered, i answered twice!! they are exactly the same!! no flaw!! if there would be any difference, i would be the order of items.. i should have made up my mistakes in the accenture exam.. dummy!!!! im scheduled for an interview anyhow.. still safe hahahha

im154

2007-01-17T21:56:00.000+08:00

just today, we had our first preliminary examinations.. 2 subjects.. operations research and operations management.. om, i think ill pass.. or, no way.. y? stupidity.. well, not exactly.. its like.. careless stupidity.. not careless careless.. u know what i mean.. anyway, if its careless careless, it would be bearable.. unfortunately, its not.. so now, i feel like shrinking.. humiliation in the family.. thats all it takes to make me feel like a failure..

gloom

2007-01-16T12:48:00.000+08:00

i overheard mommy and daddy talking while i was still in bed rather vaguely about taiwan, my shoti, hospital, pal.. then i sorted it out.. and it spelled.. shoti's in the hospital and mommy cancelled her flight to taiwan.. then i woke up, waiting for mom to tell me everything.. but she didnt.. she told me shobe's chemical ingredients cannot be found in allyson.. kakadepress noh.. but she finally told me when i was eating my lunch.. that shes leaving for canada today (shes on her way to the airport now) because shoti's in the hostipal having stomach complications.. she'll stay for 2 weeks and maybe shoti'll come along.. leaving ubc.. i wasnt sure how i felt when she said that he'll be coming home for good.. half of me was really glad, the other half.. i felt disappointment.. shoti wasted 2 years of his life just to end up studying here in the philippines.. he would have been in his 2nd year of college now if he didnt leave.. plus, i felt pity over him.. he'll be leaving his friends, his church, his school.. but i think im still glad he's coming home.. we wont have to miss much.. haha anyway, i just hope he's ok now..

seminars

2007-01-15T17:53:00.000+08:00

jan 19-20 - business and economics convention at dlsu
jan 27 - it convention FUSION at dlsu
jan 27-28 - ateneo's itech seminar at makati

prelims - jan 17-20
-->cant go to business and economics convention

first choice = FUSION
-->limited to only 20 students per university

last chance = itech
-->but no.. no ones coming with me.. they didnt like the idea of spending php300 for the seminar.. but i told them its very important to all of us.. especially for im students.. it is actually organized by the mis students at ateneo.. but it seems like what i said werent really heard.. anyway, ill still try to go..

school starts

2007-01-05T21:29:00.000+08:00

my bangs is getting longer now.. and its hard to maintain.. and right now.. i feel regret.. for my selfish reasons.. which is to have new look.. and thats stupid.. i know..

dean list.. my goal for this semester.. just take away all my laziness.. then im good to go..

are u annoyed by all the ".."? well thats how im saying these words..

this useless trashbag makes me want to strangle him.. if only i could, i will..

friends.. im not a person magnet.. or even a friend magnet.. im boring, selfish, stupid, corny, immature and anything like these you can think of..

dexter.. my new addiction.. a tv series about a forensic scientist who murders serial killers.. just like him actually..

havnt talked to shoti for a couple of months now.. i kinda miss him.. but im used to it though not talking to and seeing each other..

i have nothing to say.. sorry about this haha

my new year

2007-01-03T01:07:00.000+08:00

we open gifts and fire some fireworks every december 31.. its kind of a tradition.. well, i didnt get all i wanted.. but im happy..

right now? im not happy.. school starts tom.. or i mean later..

okay, there is this person.. lets name him.. trashbag.. now this freak was getting against me.. im not sure what his trying to do.. but he makes me wanna spit in his ass face.. crash him like a bug.. kick his ass.. poke his eyes.. along with his friend.. do u think im that stupid that i wont notice it?? huh?? you asshole.. stay away from me!!! stop wasting my time.. its not funny anymore.. u get it?!